You hate them, despise them even.
They make you want to order another burger, drink a whole fifth, grab that needle.
We repress them with every fiber of our being, try to block them out, forget about them.
We spend so much time trying to rid ourselves of them, we forget they feed off our hate, our fear.
It’s the parts of us we don’t want others to see, the parts we don’t talk about at work, the parts we hide from others.
The parts we hide from ourselves.
They’re the dark side of us, the side of us we only let a few select people catch a glimpse of, even then we keep them in the recesses of our minds.
How could anyone like us if they knew about our Demons? How can anyone love us if they saw the darkest side of us?
If anyone saw them, we’d be alone for the rest of our lives. Our family would dismiss us, our friends wouldn’t hang around anymore, the ones who once loved us would hate us in an instant.
Our Demons scare us.
The fear gives them power over us, causes us to put on a fake smile, wear a mask over who we really are. By trying to destroy them, we make them stronger, make them more powerful, give them more control.
I don’t want to destroy my Demons.
I want to understand them.
I want them to be my friends.
A Toast: To Making Friends With Our Demons